Learn the signs

It is difficult to know if someone you care about is experiencing intimate partner violence. There are five forms of abuse to watch for: physical, psychological/emotional/verbal, sexual, financial, and spiritual.

Learn what’s not ok, and recognize the signs of intimate partner violence.

Signs of Coercive Control

Coercive control is not ok. It refers to behaviours a partner may use to limit another person’s freedom, independence, or sense of self. These patterns are often subtle but deeply harmful. More than 95% of victims of intimate partner violence experience some form of coercive control.
(Source: Sagesse Domestic Violence Prevention Society, Alberta)

Recognizing these behaviours is the first step toward understanding how abuse can take shape beyond physical violence. On their own, any one of these actions might not seem like abuse. But when they occur repeatedly or in combination, they can create a pattern of control that causes fear, confusion, and contributes to further isolation.

Examples of coercive control behaviours include:

Isolation tactics that prevents their partner from spending time with friends or family
Depriving a partner of basic needs like sleep, food, safe housing, or access to the internet, or phone
Stalking or monitoring a partner’s whereabouts, activities, or communication
Interrogating a partner about what they do or who they talk to when apart
Limiting access to finances or making financial decisions without consent
Humiliating a partner through name-calling or other verbal abuse
Threatening violence against a partner, loved ones, or pets
Using intimidation or threats such as reporting them to the police, preventing access to children or sharing personal information and images publicly
Damaging property or items that hold personal meaning
Pressuring or guilting a partner into unwanted actions, such as having sex, quitting a job, using substances, or cancelling plans

10 Warning Signs of Escalating Risk

Violence in a relationship can worsen over time. The following questions are a quick way to identify whether someone may be at high risk of serious harm or death from their partner.

If the answer is “yes” to three or more of these situations — and they have occurred within the last month — the person may be in immediate danger. Contact Optimism Place at 519-271-5550 for a risk assessment and safety-planning support.

If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

Signs include:

The person fears being hurt, and/or fears for the safety of a child or another family member.
The partner has a known history of domestic violence.
The partner shows obsessive behaviour such as stalking, harassment, excessive gift-giving, sexual jealousy, and/or possessiveness.
The partner has made threats involving weapons, and/or has access to firearms or knives.
There have been threats to kill the person, a family member, and/or themselves.
The partner has violated a no-contact and/or other court order.
The relationship is ending, and/or there has been a recent pregnancy or birth.
The partner is currently unemployed and/or without stable housing.
The partner’s substance use contributes to an increase in violent incidents.
The frequency or severity of violent incidents has escalated.